simple stories
[an invitation to old-fashioned blogging]

Simple Stories

Remember the old days when we shared our simple stories, when we told about our days and posted grainy point-and-shoot photos, when we were thrilled to hear of new babies and cross-country moves and the books being read and that dress you found on sale at Target last week?

I miss that.

And I suppose the missing of it was part of what kept me from this space for so long, tip-toeing in here and there, then skittering away due to what it had become. Too many opinions, too many hot topics, too many should-dos, too many bulleted lists, too much promotion, too many scholarly thoughts, too many internet bullies, too many communities turning in on themselves, too many pinnable images and algorithms and plugins and discussions about the best time of day to share a blog post.

And all I wanted to do was talk about life.

Everyday Life - laundry and toys

If the conversations I’ve had in recent months are any indication, there’s a quiet little corner filled with people holding the same smoldering coals in our bosom, driven to relish the beauty and the broken, to roll ideas ’round for a while, to appreciate laughter and share the moments of our sacred everyday. We speak and sing and create and write because we have no choice.

But we’ve become stuck, silenced by our own fear and the pressing expectations to create stellar shareable content, to catch eyes and make it all mean something. When did blogging start taking itself so seriously? Nobody has life-changing thoughts every day.

Somewhere along the line, maybe it was five years ago, maybe it was two weeks ago, we’ve lost our voices in this sphere. Maybe the old words blew away in the wind, or perhaps our daily motions were altered by circumstances and the expected rolling along of life.

But maybe we’ve become convinced our stories aren’t enough unless they bring in a few extra dollars or widespread notoriety. Maybe we want to unpack our thoughts about God, but we’ve heard we aren’t allowed to speak until we have our theology in order. Perhaps voices have filled our ears, telling us we need to quiet the truth because it was too messy. Perhaps we’ve encountered the internet police, swirling their batons and beating our ankles if we use the wrong wording, telling us to hush up if we deviate from the approved solutions. We’ve been belittled for thinking our daily lives are worth sharing, warned we won’t be taken seriously, told there’s nothing sacred in the rhythms of the everyday. Who wants to hear about our minutiae when the people of the world are busy with their own lives?

Here’s the truth about that: I want to hear your minutiae.

soundofmusicvinyl

knitsquare

I entered the online writing space six houses, three states, three children, two deployments, one faith crisis and several eras ago. Many, many facets of blogging and online interaction have changed in those years. But the compelling aspect, the one thing keeping me from walking away and returning to the solitude of my pen and leather journal? Your stories.

Your stories have shaped my life, assured me I’m not alone, changed my views, made me laugh, buoyed me and held me. It wasn’t your gorgeous photography or your helpful linkups or your carefully crafted arguments or the original fonts in your header, much as I’ve loved all of them. It wasn’t because you publish on Tuesdays and Thursdays or thanks to the email delivery service you’ve chosen. I don’t stick around because of your blog design or your hairstyle or the brands you promote or your doctrinal views.

The internet certainly isn’t a soul-sucking waste land and the trappings of blogging aren’t inherently devastating. I’m addicted to Instagram and waste hours on Pinterest and can’t imagine a world without Facebook. There are a million obscure platforms and tools we bloggers use and they’re all needed when it comes to getting the the job done. By all means, use them and use them well. Do what you do, create businesses, take the opportunities, write the books, make things happen.

But I don’t read your blog because of a multi-avenue internet platform. And I don’t stay away from your blog because of your lack of online glamour.

It’s always been the stories. Our lives are all we have, aren’t they? So let us hear your passion and the way you thrive. Let us cheer for you, mourn with you, share in your ponderings and hilarious anecdotes.  Speak to us of your days and toss away the need for an obvious premise. The telling matters, to me, to your aunt two states away, to the readers who pull from your life hope and freedom and empathy and courage and commonality and faith and humor and inspiration.

Refuse to be silenced. Sing loud, light a flame, start a new chapter. Share your world, because it is yours. Do it eloquently, do it beautifully, do it humorously, do it boldly, do it sarcastically. But however you do it, do it as you.

Soccer Field

This is an invitation to return to old-fashioned blogging, in which we do life and share the simple realities, the open parts, the hard and the lovely. This isn’t a call to a confessional or a rally for waving around our dirty laundry. No, no – keep your secrets and honor your stories in the telling.

But this is a call to slow down, to break the rules a bit, to have some fun and trust that it doesn’t have to be so complicated. It’s a call to do the work of showing up, being real, pushing past the fear and the belief in our own incompetence.

Let us not desecrate the magnificence of the sacred days we’ve been given with the lie that our words no longer hold value, that nobody will take seriously the life lived well. The simple truths, shared intentionally, are shaping communities, online and off. These stories deserve to be told.

 

Need inspiration? Follow along with Heather of the EO’s Just Write community on Tuesdays, or dig in with Lisa Jo’s Five Minute Fridays.

Need accountability and community? Join this new Facebook group, where we’re committing to writing down the simple stories and holding each other to it.
 

I love you, you beautiful, rag tag, messy, perfect online community, you. Let’s live our simple lives together again, mmkay?

~Ash

sing loud

It’s always in whispers at first, isn’t it?

We mean it, then we don’t. But maybe we do? We have our thoughts, they have their own.

Too opinionated. No backbone. Loose canon. Too innocent. Trying too hard. Too strategic. No voice. All the same. Opportunist. Manipulative. Broken. Too fairy-tale. Only in it for the return. Just looking for fifteen minutes of glory.

Criticism, too many opinions, their voices and our own. It’s all tossed to the open wind, stuffing our brains with cotton and paralyzing all of us with its spine-shattering fear.

 

So why keep at it?

Why not just give up the whole gosh darn thing?

If you create, why make something new?

If you write, why tell those stories?

If you paint, why pick up the brush?

If you speak, why open your lips?

If you sing, why belt out that melody?

 

I’m going to venture a guess and say you’re doing it because you have no choice, aren’t you? Because if you don’t make that art, whatever it is, however practical, however mystical, your head will go buzzy and your heart will turn grey and your stomach will be filled with heavy brick.

Let’s not give it up, weary ones.

 

They say you’re too outspoken? You know what? You’re heard.

You’re too naive? You’re winning them over.

Too private? You’re wise.

Too driven? You’re making it happen.

We’re all in this together, me with my discretion and you with your open book. You keep your secrets, I’ll tell mine, we’ll see-saw our way through this journey of ours, toward becoming ourselves, toward growing up, toward learning what it is we’re even trying to say. We’re telling our tales as we live by them, we’re singing our songs with full lungs, we’re dancing until our limbs go numb, we’re discovering truth in the dank cellars and the sunshine.

Keep at it, wild hearted life liver. You’re doing just fine.
 


song h/t Gabrielle

i only have my stories

I only have my stories.

I don’t have deep theological rants, or meandering dissertations.

I don’t lay bare my politics. I will no longer tell you how to mother your children. I can’t tell you what to believe.

I owned the answers, once, and I handed them out here and there and everywhere. My opinions were strong, my conviction mighty, my certainties unwavering. It all bubbled and spit until I laid it out in type.

But the boiling eventually spilled over, too much, too soon, and the heat was on. It all boiled down, and down, and down.

It boiled down until it was gone, all of it. The opinions, the doctrines, the practices, the reasons, the answers, the formulas.

pen

Now I have the stories.

I don’t have reasons anymore, but I am free to discover them again. I am here to be filled up, to seek and find. The boiling over and boiling down, it wasn’t for naught.

I’m filled with these stories, stacked by tens and twenties like an overflowing bookcase. I have stories of a little girl exuberant, knowing her own mind. I have stories of a young woman confident only in fear and self lost during the in-between years and little-girl-grown-up, found again.

Stories of handmade floral jumpers and pretty scarves of submission tied ’round my young head, of stapled paper magazines and old pen-pals. I have an account to give, here, of paradigms shifted, of crashing down and building up. Jesus known, Jesus lost, a new Jesus found.

Do you want to know the true tale behind that diamond ring finding its way to my 17 year old left finger, of babies born to young (yet married) parents, of childhood mothering?

I can talk to you about ten years of military life, the support, the hatred, the love, the quasi-pacifism, the pounding patriotism, the breast of conflicted emotions, the truest versions of those deployment sagas.

Let me whisper of family, the way we push and pull. The friendship casualties, the kindreds gained. I show the front of my marriage, the forward facing side, but perhaps this time I can be honest.

My ballet dancing son, my love of red wine, the way my fingers work yarn endlessly. My work and hiring a nanny. The way I read Common Prayer and took a break from church. The months spent curled in the corner of my sofa. The therapy and the doctor who discovered the secret. The horror of the midwife and the redemption of babies birthed. The months I contemplated walking away. My year in a hippie town.

These stories, I have them, tucked down deep and hidden, covered in a bit of a haze, bound tightly with a ribbon of fear. They beg to be released, to have the tape ripped from their lips, to climb to the rooftops and shout their own names.

Be warned, friend, I’m a new one, here. You know me and you don’t. I know myself and I don’t.

No cohesive topic. No pointed argument. No special knowledge to share. No axes left to grind.

But I still have my stories.

I only have my stories.