I trip down the stairs each morning, puffy eyed, hair wrapped in a band, clad in shorts and my husband’s triathlon t-shirt for pajamas. Kiss the baby and set him in his cradle to coo at a string of bright elephants crafted by women in Uganda. My eyes are accustomed to their presence and I don’t think of the women’s fingers holding thread while I push buttons on that beloved Keurig and have a steaming cup of coffee ready in one minute flat.
Two tablespoons of coffee creamer (70 calories) and Canadian bacon (25 calories). Cereal for the two big boys who are ready for fun and activity and what can we do today, Mama?
We all need diversion.
“There are worse things, Ashleigh!” She shrugs and she grins, the phrase passing her lips easily and often. “Oh well, there are worse things in life!”
I stare at her blankly, when she says it. Because my head hears the words and knows their accuracy, but my heart says that the school problem or the illness or the family drama is pretty darn difficult for today. And coming from someone who has endured multiple real life nightmares, I don’t understand how this could be her pet phrase.
But it is. And she means it.
There are worse things.
There are very tiny boys who can’t take in nutrients and lose weight before their parents‘ eyes.
There are young men who earn neuroscience degrees and sip beer with friends before shooting automatic weapons into trapped crowds.
There are people who spend their days skipping gleefully around the internet leaving mucked up word trails as they rip to shreds with typing fingers the real lives of real people with real feelings.
There are men who hurt children, adults to whom a child’s sobbing and a child’s pain mean nothing.There are people who turn a blind eye.
There are worse things. My friend is right.
And yet the baby was up all night and my brain is ready to be shut off for the night by 10pm and so I nibble chocolate and read a book.
Because diversion comes whether or not I wish it and I hate myself for it.
linking up with the lovely Heather, and all those who just write.